Video Killed the Radio Star...
Man, she told me. Well, technically the recording she was lip-synching to told me—you know how those celebrities are….. gotta have someone do everything for them… I bet her karaoke machine makes her toast with coke-jam in the morning. Just like she likes it.
I’m
not going to waste your time with a review of the show, because by now
I think you can guess what I’m going to say, and I am trying to cut
back on the negativity.
Let’s talk about the number of commercials for MTV series between the awards show “fun.” Music Television features 23 shows in their current series line-up. Take a look at the list to the right. How many of those programs show music videos?
If you look up their daily schedule, you’ll notice that the only time of day you can see music videos is 6-7am. The rest of the day is filled with HORRIFIC SHIT that not even lobotomized teenyboppers could enjoy without first swallowing horse tranquilizers. I’m not suggesting that TRL shows anything I would want to watch, but that should be my decision, not Judy McGrath’s or some board of fifty-somethings that think they know what I want to see.
I hate to admit it, and this pains me terribly, but I have to give serious props to Justin Timberlake for taking both of his on-camera opportunities to call MTV out for the lack of music programming. I especially liked it when he said something along the lines of “we don’t want to see any more of your idiot bitches” with the three bimbos from “The Hills” ten feet to his right on stage.
MTV does not deserve to host the Video Music Awards. I don’t understand how any artist who won an award could attribute their success to MTV when they undoubtedly get more airtime on YouTube or MySpace than they would ever get on MTV nowadays. Music Television is not Music Television anymore, it’s “MTV.” Our generation no longer associates MTV with music, and it is too late to bring back the credibility that MTV once had. The VMAs tonight made it obvious to me that the old is out.
MTV as we once knew it is dead.
What’s going to take its place? MySpace? I certainly hope not. Someone had better start thinking now, because with no MTV, CDs going the way of the dodo, and no way to enjoy music without having to pay for it besides stealing it, the music world is going to get pretty darn interesting.
…and now it is doing everything in its power to kill the music that made it famous. Judy McGrath had a brilliant idea in a recent board meeting over at MTV—it went something like this:
McGrath: I took a focus group poll of what teenagers these days are interested in, and the results suggest that they think about sex more then they listen to music. Therefore, I am removing all music from Music Television and replacing it with mindless sex drama.
Board: Robble robble robble robble robble robble robble robble.
McGrath: Excellent. I’m glad you agree. We have also pioneered a technology to perform frontal lobotomies by embedding a signal in the mindless sex drama and within one week, we will have decreased the IQ of all kids aged 14-25 by an average of 30%. I would like to implement this technology immediately.
Board: Robble robble robble robble robble robble robble robble.
McGrath: I’m so glad you are on board with this. I also propose that after our audience is lobotomized, we will hold the VMAs and the world will know my genius as we piss in their ears.
Board: (*applause*) Robble robble robble robble robble robble.
I
sure am glad I didn’t get lobotomized. Unless MTV collaborated with ABC
Family, and they were able to scramble my eggs through re-runs of
Sabrina: Teenage Witch.
Being the devoted Sabrina fan that I am,
I decided to assume the position in front of the tube to watch Melissa
Joan Hart’s long time friend, Britney Spears, come back from the
Disney-Death-Bot maintenance facility to dazzle us with her incredible
crack-headedness.
“It’s Britney, bitch.”
Man, she told me. Well, technically the recording she was lip-synching to told me—you know how those celebrities are….. gotta have someone do everything for them… I bet her karaoke machine makes her toast with coke-jam in the morning. Just like she likes it.
I’m
not going to waste your time with a review of the show, because by now
I think you can guess what I’m going to say, and I am trying to cut
back on the negativity.Let’s talk about the number of commercials for MTV series between the awards show “fun.” Music Television features 23 shows in their current series line-up. Take a look at the list to the right. How many of those programs show music videos?
One. ONE SHOW.
If you look up their daily schedule, you’ll notice that the only time of day you can see music videos is 6-7am. The rest of the day is filled with HORRIFIC SHIT that not even lobotomized teenyboppers could enjoy without first swallowing horse tranquilizers. I’m not suggesting that TRL shows anything I would want to watch, but that should be my decision, not Judy McGrath’s or some board of fifty-somethings that think they know what I want to see.
I hate to admit it, and this pains me terribly, but I have to give serious props to Justin Timberlake for taking both of his on-camera opportunities to call MTV out for the lack of music programming. I especially liked it when he said something along the lines of “we don’t want to see any more of your idiot bitches” with the three bimbos from “The Hills” ten feet to his right on stage.
MTV does not deserve to host the Video Music Awards. I don’t understand how any artist who won an award could attribute their success to MTV when they undoubtedly get more airtime on YouTube or MySpace than they would ever get on MTV nowadays. Music Television is not Music Television anymore, it’s “MTV.” Our generation no longer associates MTV with music, and it is too late to bring back the credibility that MTV once had. The VMAs tonight made it obvious to me that the old is out.
MTV as we once knew it is dead.
What’s going to take its place? MySpace? I certainly hope not. Someone had better start thinking now, because with no MTV, CDs going the way of the dodo, and no way to enjoy music without having to pay for it besides stealing it, the music world is going to get pretty darn interesting.