Back to the Nederland

May 15, 2008

Last night, Professor Meat and I trekked up the narrow, massive, dynamite blasted canyon to the First Street Pub in Nederland for hip-hop night.

I Know, "Hip hop night, where???"  That's right, Nederland.  Meat's boy Justin grabbed the mics and we drove into town around eleven, where we found Prakoshis rockin a tiny bar for about twenty people.  He spit frees for about a half hour, and I gotta say I was impressed.  The snow started around 11:30 which drove most everyone away, save about 10 people, all emcees and a camera girl.  This means I was filmed rapping last night, which is probably not good.  

I honestly couldn't believe it, a lot of kids up there had skills.  Flow was questionable, but they were all mad concerned with lyrics, and when Meat and I grabbed the mics folks gave us love.  After we played a mini-set, we started just spitting frees and then everyone in the bar got on stage and just passed the mics back and forth for about another hour.   I don't know how to freestyle without insulting people, so i just started battling cats, Meat figured I was starting a fire so he kept rhyme-apologizing for my indiscretions, but it was all love.  White cats in dashikis clutchin' they hearts like cardiac arrest and Justin producing his shit live; it was a lot of fun.  

Kaybee and I just got back from a little trip to the motherland as well.  We flew into Newark airport on Friday and got back yesterday.  Whereas i didn't see a show while i was out there (overscheduling, underplanning) i did hear of a few.  This is how it happens in New Brunswick:

 

That's my man GDP.  One of the illest cats in Jersey, and the dude who knows how to have the most fun in the universe, is coming to Denver on the 28th at the Climax Lounge, be sure to check that out.

"Local Music" means shit to me now.  It used to signify concrete floors and christmas lights, beer smell and smoking in a no smoking house.


I can't find a show that's not at a bar.  We had a band at my house last week before i left for Jersey and the cops came in 10 minutes, told us what we were doing was illegal, and  shut us down.  It seems like this may be the start to something pretty cool, every wednesday, i'll keep yall posted.  

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Rap in every language.

January 19, 2008

Mobb Deep's Prodigy is releasing an album in 1,400 different languages, but i'm relatively sure he only speaks english.

 

Otherwise known as "the talented half of Mobb Deep" and "the reason they're famous", Prodigy has apparently gotten together with technology company called Voxonic who specialize in voice translation software. 

Apparently, they can shift a human voice into every known language.  Holy, crap; nerds will instantly think:


...unconscious mental frequencies from this brainwave energy to nourish itself with. It then excretes into the mind of its carrier a telepathic matrix formed by combining the conscious thought frequencies with nerve signals picked up from the speech centres of the brain which has supplied them. The practical upshot of all this is that if you stick a Babel fish in your ear you can instantly understand anything said to you in any form of language." 

Douglas Adams "The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy"

 

Despite the obvious problems that will emerge in this endeavor at first,(college students attempting to rush through a Spanish paper know better than anyone how internet translation websites fail miserably on the regular) I have a few personal gripes with this. 

While Prodigy himself is quoted as saying, "The prospect of having fans understand what I'm saying and repeat it in their language [drew me to] the company,"...now, fans will like more than just the beat or the rhythm. They'll understand what I'm saying and relate to it." I'm pissed because:

IT WON'T FUCKING RHYME!

I actually like Prodigy as a lyricist, his shit is dark and personal, and it tends to do that thing which is most imperative about rap music, RHYME.

The only cat who can get away with rapping without rhyming is this guy:

no exceptions.

While I admit the prospect is interesting, it frustrates me that the rapper focuses more on 'transmitting his message' (lyrics now concerned mostly with guns and less with struggle) than the skill it takes to write rhyming verse.  And also, it seems he'll be unconcerned with how accurate the translation is, as Gobbledygook is still prevalent among language translation softwares in text, but should hold up even worse in speech.

Despite this not being a good thing for hip-hop in my opinion, this could be extremely useful in language translation of political speeches, international news sources, internet chatting; the list goes on...

We'll have to see what the future holds, when we get there.

 

And besides, Prodigy used to be fucking awesome, and he fell off worse than almost any other rapper on the planet with his former level of skill.  Listen to Shook Ones Pt. 2 and then Mac 10 Handle next to each other, make your own judgment. 

 


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WRC FINALS!!!

December 22, 2007

THEY'RE HERE!!!

THE FINALS OF THE FINALS!!! 

I'm not sure if any of you out there actually care about this, seeing as how the only comment i got on a WRC entry came from some assumed-to-be-british kid with terrible grammar, accusing me of not understanding things when all i do is profess love for them.  in any event, the finals went down like this:

  VS. 

Quest & Marv took it.

VS. 

Ark & Eurgh took it.

VS.

Illmac & Saurus took it.

VS.

Wapps & Juce took it.

Then the Semi-Finals:

vs.  

Illmac & Saurus took it.

vs.

Wapps & Juce took it.

Then the FINALS were:

  VS. 

if you pay any attention to this at all, you can probably see what's coming

that's right, the champs took it again, for the second year in a row.

peep the vids at Jumpoff.TV 

make the judgment for yourself, but i personally saw some serious flaws with how the finals turned out.

 

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Quick WRC Update:

December 12, 2007

 

jumpoff.tv released what they had of the tapes from the quarterfinals last night!!!

UPDATE: Due to bandwith issues, i have taken these videos down, please just go to Jumpoff.TV for all of the battles



Exciting news!  The thing is, they still haven't recovered the tapes that were stolen, and all of the ransomers seem like they're full of shit completely. 

From the jumpoff blog:

"We are going to release all of Round 1 battles today starting from 10am ET/3pm GMT and then Round 2 tomorrow and, if needed, Round 3 battles on Thursday.

Remember, Camera 1 tapes were stolen after the semi-finals so we only really have camera 2 footage for all the battles before the last Semi-Final battle. However, we were using a digital Hard Drive that crashed after the first round of battles."

even if you don't like rap, that's not what these battles are about.  it's basically stand up insult comedy that happens to rhyme, and often rhyme really really well.  watch a video or two if you've never seen a battle before, even if you have, these are acapellas, filmed in studios with HD cameras, which means there's no beat to block the punchlines or crowds going nuts to drown out the rhymers. 

check the fly shit, son/daughter.

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Local Boulder Emcee: Professor Meat

December 08, 2007

Professor Meat started rhyming by text messaging his brother rhyming couplets, like: 

When i'm in the club i be flirtin with dancers and i eat more pussy than some cervical cancer 

The first rhyme he ever spit live was:

kids eat shit but they still pretend though, they 8-bit like old school nintendo.  

Professor Meat began his career in 2003 in Champagne, Illinois.  It's a funny story:  he moved to champagne, not knowing anyone there, so he took to the streets to meet people.  He heard some cats talking about hip-hop, and he had been freestyling himself, so on the campus of Champagne Urbana at the University of Illinois, he met a rapper by the name of Al iteration who invited Professor to a cipher that night.  They were all warming up, getting ready to spit, and they put him on the spot with the words any novice emcee fears the most, "go first".  Four cats stood in a circle spitting to industry instrumentals (like mixtapes), and Meat killed the cipher.  After that summer, he moved back to Jersey and started a 9-5er at Best Buy, but his mind was never on the job, he was stuck in freestyle mode.  Some Best Buy lines:

Most Eager Artist Today, hardest to slay, emcees like newports i smoke a carton a day

My pilots stay bombin' like shock and awe, i rock it raw, fuck with me and catch tetanus, i lock your jaw

At this point, his little brother Dank was rhyming with some eastside bloods, and Meat got down on ciphers constantly to develop his skills further.  During that period, he had his first secret freestyle session with GDP out in the Dunkin' Donuts parking lot in West Orange, NJ.  They drove around in his dad's truck spittin rhymes and elevating.  This went through the winter of '05, and in February '06 he moved to Portland, Oregon to start his creative writing career, where he wrote a novella.  He hit the ground running with hip-hop there, his first day there he overheard kids freestyling and he just jumped in and traded verses.  They were Graf writers, as is Meat, so they went bombing, still spittin, and he caught the bug.  He got hooked up with Randolf McTools from hip hop anonymous, just a loose affiliation of emcees, producers, djs, just to hook everyone up with rhymes and beats.  Tools introduced Meat to Cheef at BS Productions, where Meat laced his first tracks.  Meat met this homeless dude named Brooklyn, who supported himself by burning cds and selling them on the street.  They went around together spittin and trying to sell Brook's CDs, and developed his skills more and more.  He recorded an untitled, unreleased demo with Cheef, which never saw the light of day, but he kept the beats which are now on his EP "Write Truth on the Walls".  Flash forward to October '06, Meat moved back to Jersey and that's when he really decided to start running with it.  He had been seeing what GDP and his middleschool friend C-minus had been up to on a Jersey label called Division East.  Around the beginning of December he was working in a secure fileroom on Wall Street, for a firm called Bowne, he was the only one in there, and filing is bullshit, so he spent most of the day writing rhymes (and catching tags during lunch breaks).  He had money to afford studio time, for a flat fee of $1,000 he got studio time and all the beats he needed from J-Stamps, 100dbs, and C-Minus. 

 

He recorded 9-10 rough cuts, did some edits, went back in the studio in January '07 and recorded the full-length EP "Write Truth on the Walls".  He wanted to rock shows, GDP put him on a few Division East shows, he rocked with NoGoodsCrew, Tame One, Shape, GDP, Bully Mouth; and most of the North Jersey underground scene.  He rocked open mics in New Brunswick (by Rutgers University, where this humble writer went to school) and was addicted to the shit.  He tried to sell CDs at these shows, and it wasn't going well ("i think I sold one copy total, to a drunk girl").  He had a really shitty day in the fileroom one day and simultaneously applied to Wizard Magazine and Naropa University.  He got the job at Wizard quickly, and brought C-Minus with him to work in the warehouse, during which he laced Viddy Dat, Blue Lie, Hip Hop Anonymous; basically a lot of tracks which are coming on the new full length (Working Title: The Bizarre Adventures of Professor Meat, slated for release by Spring '08) 

This brings us up to speed, Meat quit Wizard and moved to Boulder to studying Writing & Poetics at Naropa.  He found himself in the same situation as he was in Champagne, but this time he had a few copies of his EP with him, so he hit the streets to sell his burns.  So he sold everything he had on him the first day, then burned some more the next day, and before he knew it he was selling 15 copies a day making around $75 a day on weekends, and during the week it varied.  One night he was out rhyming and there were two other cats out there he's never seen before selling CDs too.  Ya-B and Scope based out of Chicago stood across from the split rocks on Pearl Street and dropped everything they had on each other.  They became quite close quite quickly, and ended up crashing with Meat for a week.  Selling CDs on the street, Meat met  producers, radio DJs, other emcees, and this humble writer.  Scope, Ya-B and Meat freestyled on The Eclipse Show on KGNU, which stepped up Meat's game and gave him the impetus to apply himself fully to the rap game. 

EmceEsher: Where do you get your rhymes from, what's your inspiration for writing lyrics?

Meat: I love language, i love hearing the way words interact, basically i just love clever lyricism; that's the whole Professor side of things.

EmceEsher: So what's with the name Professor Meat then?

Meat: I first got the nickname Meat when i first arrived in Illinois, the friend i drove out there with slipped on my real name and accidentally called me Meat, and that just stuck really well.  I started studying the Supreme Alphabet, decoding the meaning in my own name.  Mathematics Encode All Truths, Most Eager Artist Today, Making Emcees Ananlyze Themselves, Marijuana Elevates All Things, Mushroom Eating is Therapy, Meat Evil Always Triumph &c.

EmceEsher: So what's the next step for Professor Meat

Meat: The next step? Trying to integrate myself more in Boulder, rocking shows from the laundry room to Naropa, Headlining at the Roxy in Denver, and it's always been well recieved.  There's a community of hip-hop artists here, but it's still a matter of paying dues, they don't know my pedigree out here yet, but there's plenty of room out here for cats to come up.  I come home and rock for 300 people in NYC, and then come back to Boulder and play for 10 people, which is kind of frustrating.

EmceEsher: When do you hit the studio for the new album?

Meat: The album is about 40% done, when I go home for Christmas break I'm gonna get most of the album down, I hooked up with DOODZIEK (dutch for 'dead sick') from Holland, and he gave me a bunch of the beats that'll be on the new record.  I'm also a novelist, I'm writing a voodoo-laced noir police thriller meets stoner-zombie apocalypse with a sci-fi twist.

EmceEsher: From our conversations, I've learned you're heavily concerned with the government, conspiracy theories and philosophy.

Meat: Where to begin?  I guess i first got concerned post 9/11 when the patriot act was passed, back in the day i used to hack computers, and personal liberty has always been a concern of mine.  I was in Manhattan that day, and that stayed etched in my mind; they took this tragedy and then took our freedoms because of it.  Conspiracy theories interested me in my hacking years, i had seen some Alex Jones docs, and i'm academically trained to be a social scientist, so i'm a skeptic in all dimensions.  I was skeptically receptive to the ideas, but it started making sense to me on a fundamental level.  When the Skull & Bones thing happened with Bush and Kerry, and Greg Palist's theories caught my attention.  I was reading Chomsky at that time and things like that, but i was just generally trying to educate myself, and more than that, learning very quickly that i couldn't trust the official story, because there are always ulterior motives. 

i met Meat on Pearl Street one night when my roomates and i were waiting for this kid Paul to show up so they could start a comedy group.  Paul never ended up at the Sundown, but Meat came up to us rocking a New Jersey fitted hat and asked if we listened to hip-hop.  i responded with an emphatic "YES" and we traded verses for about an hour, going through each of our catalogs until i completely ran out of rhymes.  we went back to his apartment to watch conspiracy theory videos from the likes of Alex Jones who you might remember from the film "Waking Life" (he's the dude with the bullhorn car who drives around trying to "wake people up" to what's going on in their government)  we had a good time and stayed up until 4am.  These days, you can catch me and Meat on Pearl Street hocking CDs, the kid is a wizard, and he raps to eat, you can check out full tracks at www.myspace.com/profmeat


 

support local hip-hop fools.

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CRAP!!!

December 05, 2007

so, i started covering the world rap championships a week ago, a very exciting new acapella battle format hosted by the wonderful high-bandwith jumpoff.tv

shit got ill, the finals happened, and these were the teams from each division who made it there:

 

 

 

These 9 teams met up in a studio in New York City to finish the finals of the championships.  Everyone was dying to find out what the hell would happen when some of the best battlers in the world went up against one another, this was the first true WORLD rap championships... 

BUT SOME FUCKERS STOLE THE TAPES!!!

From Jumpoff.tv: 

"On Saturday 1st December the taping of the $50K World Rap Championships finals took place in a studio in Chelsea, New York City. This was the climax to the 10 week regular season and featured teams from London(UK), Melbourne(Australia), Toronto, LA, Detroit, Atlanta, Houston and New York. Moments before the final battle production staff realized that the video tapes containing the quarter and semi finals were missing. The finals resumed but with a sombre atmosphere. Craig G, a hip hop battling legend and one of the judges on the day said "these clowns need to return those tapes, there were some great battles and the world needs to see them".

Jump Off TV have issued a $10,000 USD cash reward for any information leading to the safe recovery of all tapes. Police are reviewing CCTV footage from the premises. Anyone with any information should email wrc(at)jumpoff.tv or hand the tapes in at any Police Precinct.

We are doing all we can to recover the tapes and conclude the 2007 World Rap Championships on JumpOff.TV. We have been contacted by several anonymous sources who claim they have the tapes. Unfortunately, at the moment we are not at liberty to discuss the matter in any further detail.

Thank you for your continued support. "

 egads!

I've been waiting months to find out who won, and apparently they've declared a winner, because the event itself happened.  Sad to say, we'll have to wait until someone returns the tapes or they release further information, esh will always keep yall on the updated tip.


 

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World Rap Championships

November 12, 2007

"Jump Off TV is a Hip Hop Media, Sports & Entertainment destination, featuring original video programming, a social network and the latest news & gossip."

I was first exposed to jumpoff.tv while searching for rap battle footage on youtube.  I came across a street battle between legends Thesaurus and Iron Solomon, two white dudes from LA and NYC respectivley,  here's the video:


God damn.

 Jumpoff's forums are pretty hyped.  Cats from all over the world (for real, Melbourne to London to Toronto to New York To Cali, and almost everywhere in between, as long as you go east from Aussie to LA...) go to criticize and talk shit about the battles.  Last year was the first ever world rap championships: 2 on 2 acapella battles comprised of 3 one minute rounds for each team.  Sometimes the battles are so heated that it has to go to overtime, in which case there are either 30 second rounds or simply punchline for punchline rounds.

here's a video from last season's final battle between Illmaculate & Thesaurus vs. Whatshisface &  Posessed

 

Please ignore the lame intro.

For those unfamiliar with battle rapping, i'll try to break it down for you, but as EB White said,  "Analyzing humor is like dissecting a frog, few people are interested and the frog dies of it"

Back in the back in the day, battle rapping was about how nice you were on the mic, how varied your syllable structure was and how tight you could freestyle.  Now it's largely about punchlines, relevance matters, but there's a lot of room for bogus filler as long as it rhymes with the punchline.  Giving examples isn't pertinent, because in battle rapping context is everything, but you can check out jumpoff.tv for all of the examples you'll ever need. 

 

With the internet and the proliferation of information across a gigantic spectrum, more and more cats interested in battling are meeting up online and then brining it to the streets.  There are even online-battle sites  where you can go and record verses and pit them against other emcees.  I don't know, that shit is wak, but jumpoff has brought battle rapping to the inter-nerds in a big way.  their forums are ridiculously active and every year (granted this is only the second season of the WRC) there is more and more involvement.  In 2006 the divisions were only in NYC and London, but this year there are divisions in Houston, Melbourne, Atlanta, London, NYC, Detroit, LA, and Toronto; each of which have 6 teams of 2 competing. 

Admittedly, there is some wak shit on here, but the fact that they have so much free content makes jumpoff the absolute best place for battle footage online.  You can also listen to their newscasts, which are mainly concerned with industry rumors and gossip, if you're into that.

The notable emcees this season are:

Jayze Juice & Frankie Wapps (NYC)

Hommy Hom & Piff James (NYC)

Illmaculate & Thesaurus (LA)

360 & Anecdote (Melbourne)

Aspire & Prolific (Toronto)

PoRich & Kid Twist (Toronto)

Critical & Madness (NYC)

Prime & Purpose (Melbourne) 

The big thing about jumpoff is that all of it's content is free and very high quality.  They have every single video they've ever broadcast archived for your viewing pleasure, and if you watched every single battle back to back it would take you weeks to see them all. 

The question is weather or not this dilutes the genre.  Battle rapping used to take place on the street or in a venue, to a beat or a kid beatboxing.  Acapella raps give each emcee a decent amount of stall time, and since jumpoff actually has foul rules (no touching, no inaccurate line predicting, etc.) emcees can be disqualified for touching one another, so something like this will never happen:


which is probably a good thing.

 

 

 but for real, check out http://www.jumpoff.tv/wrc2007.php for all of your battle needs.

ya heard?


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Are Gimmicks Still Gangsta?

October 25, 2007

This is how I write record reviews. I sit down and listen to the entire album in question and type type type. Then I do cleanup and add notes and witticisms. This task took over 10 hours to complete, as I listened to both records back to back without any breaks at all. What follows is this humble writer’s opinion on the recent Kanye West 50 Cent feud, is this just another gimmick to sell records?



Are these dudes for real? 50 Cent already retracted the statement he made about "quitting rapping" if Kanye outsells him. The albums have been out for a little while, and while 50 has a far wider audience than Kanye (topping the charts for Euro Billboard, Australia, the Czech Republic, Ireland, and New Zeland to name some) Kanye is currently winning the home game, peaking at the #1 Billboard 200 spot (50 peaked at #2) and #1 in Digital sales and #1 R&B/Hip Hop album. So both 50 and Kanye should be pretty pleased, they both sold a ton of records in a time where selling a ton of records is really hard to do (way over 2 million worldwide, each).



So, what follows is this humble writer's judgement on the feud. There isn't really a winner or a loser, as both rappers have actually come into their own a fair deal recently. Some biases I should admit: I really liked the College Dropout, and I don't really like any records by 50 cent. I understand the appeal, and I have listened to each contestant's full discography. In general, I like Kanye better, he cares about rhyme schemes and production, which is what I care about in rap music. 50 used to make club joints and murda joints, and that's all well and good, but my personal tastes don't cohere with that type of hip hop.


I bought both records through iTunes, and they each came with a digital booklet. COOL! Perhaps this will be a more standard practice for iTunes purchases, giving the consumer a digital bonus may outweigh the sensible tangibility of the jewel case. Remember Enhanced CDs!? So, it turns out that the Kanye art is done by Takashi Murakami, huge fucking bonus. Murakami is fucking ill, he did this Louis Vouitton shit:


And the Kanye cover is awesome too. So bonus points right away. In fact, Murakami was gracious (or paid) enough to do six panels for the booklet, each as dope as the last. The rest of the booklet contains all of the production credits and lyrics for each and every song, a great feature, as lyrics are (as far as this humble writer is concerned) the most important facet of hip-hop. Not that Kanye is a wordsmith, but there's a bunch of clever shit in here that may be lost on the ear due to the distracting quality some of Kanye's beats have.


50, however, chose to go with the up-close-and-personal face shot





Come on dude, really? You're all sorts of pissed off and squishing your face. What is this? If you stare at it long enough it's legitemately frightening, so credit for that. But inside the booklet? No lyrics, pics of 50 eating a gun with a fork and knife, 50 looking away from a copy of the New York Post, 50 smoking a cigar that probably cost more than my rent, 50 grabassing a fly honey, a fly honey pants diving into 50 pubes, wow. Kind of graphic. But still well layed out and conceptually interesting. Why no lyrics though? We need to know what you're saying, becuase a lot of it is unintelligible.

The records have been out for a while and a lot has been said about each. I listened to both in a row one after the other starting with Kanye, here's what i got:

Good Morning

Multisyllabic nutsness typical of an older better Kanye. He obviously learned to rap from Jay-z, and looped samples always better than synths, though kanye layers the samples with enough saw moogs to make soft cell want to sue him for infringement.

Champion

The Hook is awesome but mixed weird, the synths are way louder on the mix than the sample, and i don’t appreciate him calling Lauryn Hill out for not rapping anymore, though the message is not lost. I don’t like the hook when it’s sung by 13 people at once, it's overwhelming and doesn't flow nicely back into the verse. Maybe i’m just fed up with macho posturing “i’m the best in this shit” but this whole song is a lot of junk Kanye has spit already. You've said you're “the best”, now get better. Also, STEELY DAN SAMPLE!!!!

Stronger

DAFT PUNK SAMPLES!!! MORE AWESOME!!!
It makes one wonder how much work this sample took, but it’s amazing nonetheless. Apparently the DP dudes helped him mix this up and Timbaland did the drums, so it's curious how much work Kanye himself did on the beat. Nonetheless:
“Often the Christian in Christian Dior…i ask coz i’m not sure does anyone make real shit anymore”
A lot of the rhymes are slants, but the bridge and hook are fucking awesome.
“Me likey”?
You can only rhyme “a lot” with “a lot” so many times, and those sunglasses in the video are retarded, if only because he might be the only human who could pull those off.
And, the outro hook reapeats like 3 times too many.
Also, the song is 3:13 long, only two verses and a bunch of “uhs” and “uh huhs”, it feels like it goes on forever. He should have cut it to a 2 minute banger, but who the fuck am i?

I Wonder

Again, the sample which is really awesome gets ruined by the digi synth violins through the intro
“on your nerves”
“what he deserves”
word.
Not good, i could really live without this song, it seems like a throwaway, lots of overused rhymes he’s gone through before, the sample is great, but the synthwork is really annoying.

Good Life

T-pain is annoying, and vocoders are worse, even worse are sped up samples which Kanye himself popularized and then later panned. Alvin and the motherfucking chipmunks should not be singing the hooks on records in 2007. Shit, it’s catchy as fuck and the rhymes are generally really nice. The first verse is wak until the last line, and the rest of the track really picks up from there. “MORE ASS THAN THE MODELS!” That’s hilarious. “50 told me go ahead switch your style up and if they hate let em hate and watch the money pile up” The line is delivered perfect, like the whole song was made just for it. Snakes on a plane, awesome.

Can’t Tell Me Nothing

The other single, Multis all through the first verse, the chorus is mixed really loud. The production is weird, alot of the lyrics are good, but i really hate the chorus. This track isn't good overall.

Barry Bonds


Here's another hit, Barry Bonds. Very good. Doing pretty good as geniuses go? Shaddup. OH MAN WEEZY!!! Does he write it or freestyle it? WHO KNOWS!? Either way this is the worst verse he's spit in a while. I'm sad now. His mixtapes are fucking phenomenal, so whatever.

Drunk and Hot Girls

The hook sounds like Eminem is singing it. Ah, Jon Brion is back on the track. He may very well be my favorite producer ever, his solo shit is wonderful and the Huckabees soundtrack is still one of the coolest sounding albums i've heard in a long time. This is a stupid song though! It's hard to listen to the lullaby sound going on here for much longer than a minute, let alone an entire track. Mos sounds great, but why did it have to be on this track? Is there some hyper-artistic irony at play here, if so i don't get it. I can picture an ex girlfriend of mine who liked to drink wine coolers and give other dudes hand jobs loving this song. But, "he's not talking about me".

Flashing Lights

Sounds like a beat The Streets would/have used. But the synths are actually hot for once. Hate paparazzi more than Nazis? One takes pictures of you, one would have you killed. Reevaluate Mr. West. The beat is fucking awesome and i like the hook alot, but the verses are some of the least impressive on the album so far.

Everything I Am

DJ Premier! Cool!
Also, George Clinton had SOMETHING to do with this apparently, awesome, maybe that howling in the background of the chorus?!
BRING THE NOIZE!
The lyrics are awesome on this track. Listen to it, this should have been the single from the start.
It's great, sincerity is hard to do without sounding corny in rap music, but for some reason it works here.

The Glory

Awesome sample. This gets stuck in my head alot. This should have been the other single! Well, Stronger should stay up there, but put this out next dude. The bass kills in the sample, the strings are awesome, and even the sped up sample sounds great. He has alot of gang-vocal choruses on this record, and i think they're growing on me.
ULTRA TRAVOLTA! This track kills, i'm really impressed. Shouts out to all three Big Bigs. This fucking rules!

Homecoming

Chris Martin of Coldplay Cool!
Eh, not a standout despite the good guest spot.

Big Brother

Sentimental shoutout track to Jay-Z. Ooh, calls him out! Apparently he had to buy tickets to a show like everyone else, this is a strange anecdote to thow in here. Some more calling out. Some more props. I wonder what Jay thinks about this...

So that's it, piece of cake, album went pretty quickly, and overall it's good. Got way strong at the end which is weird for hip-hop and especially for Kanye. 50's got his work cut out for him, let's see what he's got to offer to the fray.

My Gun Go Off

Gunshots open the record.
Immedeately, the song is about killing.
Oh man, Eminem references, isn’t he ON this record?
Nothing complicated lyrically, but admittedly at least he’s RHYMING on this record. Flippin, trippin, skippin, whatever

Man Down

More synthy beats, really annoying, when are fake violins going to go away from rap music?
Why the fuck is this edited, upon further inspection, it seems like all of the cut vocals are references to police...weird.
Cause your, baby's momma is my, baby's momma
I come through to see my little nigga with the llama
What the fuck could this mean?
“i’ll murder them”!!??!
Weird hook, sung annoyingly.
This isn't very good so far, i'm no fan from the get go, but this is supposed to be the gangsta shit and while it's topically concerned with killing and selling drugs, it adds nothing new to the mix.

I’ll Still Kill

Gunshots start this song too, and then Akon whines about some bullshit, yeah, akon is going to kill me if i get to fucking around, then he’ll sing about it like Beyonce, wonderful. The only ones who could sing gospel about killing people effectively was bone thugs, anything else like this sucks because bone thugs did it right the first time, and there’s only one way to sing and kill people at the same time (Unless you’re Nellie McKaye, i guess) More threatening posturing and killing rhymes, at least they do in fact rhyme...but standards should not be lowered for this. Didn't he spit "back down" and "mack round" on the last track? Admittedly, 50 Cent is not making records for me, but I feel like this is much more of the same shit but with an alienating quality due to its ultraviolence and little other content.

I Get Money
Audio Two sample, cool! Maybe this one won’t suck
It doesn’t! it really kind of kicks ass. Sure it’s the same murder rap or whatever, but shit actually rhymes in this song!!!
This song was probably ghostwritten.


Come & Go

AT LAST! A song about using women purely for sex and then kicking them out of the crib! Someone has finally brought something new to hip hop.

The xylophone in the hook doesn’t help at all

And no matter how you slant it, “women” doesn’t rhyme with “feelings”

Ayo Technology
We come to the single:
Coming from Jersey, i listened to a lot of electronica that sounds like it was sampled from gameboys, in fact, i saw a whole band comprised of only dudes playing game boys once. That was way better than this. Another typical 50 club track, get girls to shake their asses and whatever, J Tims sings the hook, which is annoying “ooh, she wants it, blah blah” timbaland did the production, which i do really like, but it doesn’t save the song.

New age new craze new phase….ugh

Ayoooooo, a song that makes a statement, once again! Tired of using technology, want you right in front of me, could this be a comment on how the internet is alienating us romantically because of social networks and iPhones? Probably not. Obviously that’s the meaning of the song, but nothing TOO profound, because 50’s gonna do it from side to side, left to right, do the hokey pokey etc. etc.

Follow my Lead

Here’s the sensitive side of 50, he’s got the cootie shot too, jesus!
Janet Jackson said “i miss you much, i wanna feel your touch” Jesus, it’s like she’s Aristotle.
The sample is awesome, but 50’s drawling and slobbering all over the track ruins it irreparably.

Movin On Up
Even the sample is boring here, the first verse went by without me even realizing it had happened, and i’m 1:30 in to the song and i’m not sure where the verses or the hooks are…shout to an OutKast single…(so fresh so clean)…”chromed up” rhymes with “on up”
Throw away track of the year.

Straight to the Bank
This song kicks ass until “i made a mil”

Even if kanye tried to make saying “faggot” on a record taboo, 50 don’t give a fuck, but he obviously doesn’t mean it in the homophobic sense

Got more whips than a runaway slave…nice

Ugh the hook is annoying, ha, ha hahahaha. Fuck this is awful

And what is the difference between this and anything dre ever put out production wise? It sounds like the next episode.

50 actually sounds like he can rap here, which is good.

The hook is too annoying for words, the second time is somehow way worse.

Amusement Park

Finally, a gangsta carnival, just what the world needs. The vocals in the first chorus/verse thing are mixed WAY too loud.

Fully loaded clip

Unremarkable.

God this is a long record, every single track grinds on without variety or anything interesting at all production wise

Peep Show

Okay, the eminem guest track…he’s nowhere to be found until 2:33! other than the occasional “yup” or “uh huh” or “that’s right” or other affirmatives.

Eminem singing totally sucks, he was so fucking good. He was concerned with rhyme schemes, battling, etc. now he just gets in the booth and lays down the first thing that comes to mind. It sucks, how can he stand there with 50 and let that shit pass as rap music?

All of me

Multilayered vocals are mixed totally wrong or my stereo is on the fritz for real. Equal chances it is either of these two possible scenarios. Mary J. is awesome, as usual, what a beautiful woman. The sample rules and the beat is well done; the usual 50 drawl actually sounds really good here. This may be the best track on the record, Mary J. sounds great with 50, but what about the beef with The Game and that MVP joint? Hm?

It's all bogus.

That's the end of the story, i don't know if it was a backroom deal or what, but this 50 vs. Kanye thing is just a gimmick to sell records. Sure they probably had a gentlemanly contest going, but in the back of each of their heads, all they thought was "this is going to make us a killing" which, as previously mentioned, it did, and continues to do so.

Curtis 187

187 is the police code for homocide, so i'm told. Threatening murder and robbery, these lyrics don't differ dramatically from anything else on this record or anything else he's put out before. Thanks for "releasing" your real name dude, we all know it anyhow.

Touch the Sky

LAST TRACK!
TONY YAYO!

I don't know, maybe it's me, but about halfway through the record i really couldn't pay any attention to what is going on whatsoever. All the songs kind of melt into one another and most are unremarkable regardless. Now and then he'll spit a good line, and most of the guest artists do a decent job (except eminem, who will never be forgiven for his involvement here).

So that solves it, right?

Kanye wins, 50 Loses

Of course not stupid.

This is just my opinion, and what the fuck do i know? I wanted to solve the debate once and for all, and i did so, in mine own eyes. The truth is, the entire "competition" is bunk from the start. 50 has the global market locked, and no matter what, people will always buy his records. The man is an industry unto himself, and his self-promotion and marketing know no bounds. His interviews are articulate, interesting, and generally intellectual. 50 is an amazing actor (not talking about get rich or die trying), he plays his character perfectly. He writes hit records, that's his job and he does a damn good job at it.

Kanye has the American market locked for the time being, 50 still sold a shit ton of records and good for them both. See, they understand the market, kids don't want to buy records anymore, they can just download them for free! In order for either one of these artists to "win" the competition, people have to buy their albums, it's implicit in the terms of the contest itself! Of course 50 won't stop putting out solo records until he himself knows his time is up.

Personally, i liked the Kanye record better, this article took me a week and a half to write and edit, and now that it's over i've listened to each record over 10 times. A few of the tracks on the 50 record stick out, particularly:

My Gun Go Off
Ayo Technology
Straight to the Bank.

The Kanye tracks that are worth mention are:
Everything except Drunk & Hot Girls, pretty much.

It's a really solid album. All the beats & hooks are ridiculously catchy and provide for endless brain loops repeating the choruses over and over. He became more lyrically advanced, got some awesome samples running throughout the record, and really grew up a lot.

If you want to know who won the feud, buy the records and judge for yourself. Listening to music is an art of subjectivity, no one can force you to like something and no one should tell you to hate something. This is how i felt while listening to each record, but you, my fair readers:

MAKE UP YOUR OWN MIND!

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